biRdy biRdy in the sKy.. wHy did u d0 thAt in mY eYe? loOks liKe suGar, taSte liKe sAp.. oH mY gOsh iTs biRdy crAp!!
 ...I loved you once...
...You loved me not...
...I loved you twice...
...But then I thought...
...You never loved me...
...You never will...
...But even so ...
...I love you still...  does anyone feel what i feel?
this pain that stabs so strong?
this pain that haunts me in my sleep
if so you know this song:
no longer shall i suffer
no longer shall i cry
no longer shall i see the day
when highschool pasts me by
i know you hate me
thats all you have to say
the only time i'm actually me
is whenever you're away
but since you're always here
i hate to say my friend
this pain i hold is much to bare
and afraid that it must end.  i hate not knowing
what goes on in your head
what you're thinking, what you're dreaming
as you lay in your bed.
and as i lay in mine, i can only hope
that we're wising on the same star
cuz i need you and you need me
lonely.. that is what we are.
maybe if we hold onto eachother
and never let go
we'll uncover secrets
and things will happen, they'll go with the flow.
but i already had that chance
and i let it slip away
i would've come to you in a heartbeat
if only i heard you calling my name.
now i have to live w/o knowing
and i hate not knowing
but until you call my name again
i'll wait and keep on going.  please hold me and hold tight
for id you dont i'll drift away
away into the nite
completely out of sight
and i'll be taken on a desperate flight
to find one who wont let me go
i just hope you knoq
that i thought that one was you
and all i asked was for a sign
a sign that showed you cared for me
cuz all i want right now
is to simply make you mine.  *Never give up if u still wanna try*
*Never wipe your tears if u still wanna cry*
*Never settle for the answer if u still wanna know*
*Never say u don't like him if u can't let him go*  pain is when you hurt me
with those words you left behind
those words u left, hurt u see
i think you think i'm blind
but i'm proud to say i am not blind
i see crystal clear
those words you say arent hard to find
because you are so near
pain is when i count days
when you will come back home
our dreams together fade aways
like little clouds of foam
i know i'll see you again someday
maybe not till school
i know somehow i'll find a way
to try and play it cool
until then i will not fear
this pain that haunts my nites
this pain that lurks beneath my skin
this pain from deep inside. 
<![CDATA[<bgsound src="http://www.msealsmusic.com/msealsmusic/user/music/PHANTOMPLANET.WMA" loop=1 hidden="true">]]>
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Sunday, June 13, 2004
hey y'all.. this blog has been a bit of a hassle lately. and i'm kinda getting bored with it. so from now on, go here.
Posted at 11:50 am by hunkydory0322
Monday, June 07, 2004
i had a fun weekend. still a bit stressful cuz i'm trying so hard to pull off the Bs i NEED to get in order to guard next year. friday nite, went to happy hour. there are pics of it on my xanga. then on saturday, left for great america. fun stuff. it woulda been funner if i went my friends, or the guard, or the band, or the band and guard. lol. ok well i'm keeping this entry a bit short ((like my last one)) cuz i have to go get ready for the graduation thingy that i'm playing at. hoorah. i'm taking advantage of anytime i can get outta my fuckin' house.
rory.. gimme a time that u guys will meet up at powerstation. i might wanna go see a movie b4 i go play with u all. so i need to arrange my schedule. ((hehe i feel so professional.. kinda sorta))
Posted at 03:55 pm by hunkydory0322
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
hey all. well these last couple of days have been pretty boring. except for monday ((memorial day)). that was fun. i took pics too:) but they aint gonna be up for a while. until i'm lazy enough to get myself to sneak onto the computer late at nite. thats the only time i can upload em. bah. i hate being sneaky. and i hate finals. once finals are over, i dont have to be sneaky no more. but i have to ace all of my finals or else its byebye guard. that makes me a sad person:( i dont know how i would live w/o guard.. literally.
ttfn.
Posted at 07:26 am by hunkydory0322
Monday, May 31, 2004
hoorah.. another day to sleep in.
i decided.. i like memorial day weekend. lol. i thought it was gonna be torture since i'm grounded and its a 3day weekend. but it actually turned out better than what i thought so far. my cousin, jessica, flew in from guatemala last nite. shes way fun!! be expecting pics of her.
today, i went to church. then we went to eat at some chinese restaurant and then went to edwards to see troy. got to see brad pitts ass.. mmmmmmmm he is so yummy. so is orlando bloom. but brads body is totally kickin'. muahaha. then we came home and i took more pictures. but i couldnt upload em just yet. i will do so asap.
so lately all in all, i've been happy. i feel like this huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders. but then again, thats how i always feel when i talk to jerald. we're so much alike its scary, and we encourage eachother ((chalitoe angels!! lol jerald and jessW)). i love u jerald and jessW!!! we shall prevail.. muahaha!!
hmm.. u cant read the words. oh well. got this from joe.. thanx joe!! love ya lots!!
--here i go again--i swear its fate--its almost impossible not to be--in this poetic state--
Posted at 01:42 am by hunkydory0322
Sunday, May 30, 2004
well so far, its been good i guess. my cousin jessica just flew in from guatemala. be expecting pics of her being posted. we're gonna have much fun.
speaking of pics, we had a happy hour gathering thing last nite, and i went camera-crazy. so go check out my xanga to see them: www.xanga.com/mrbloomboom
ok well here are some pics of mothers day at logans.. i found them in the camera that i went crazy with yesterday. so i'm deciding to post them.
the whole fam.. good times.
yummy.
Posted at 03:01 am by hunkydory0322
Friday, May 28, 2004
hmm.. wasnt fun till after school
senior assembly thing today.. was their last day. in a way they're lucky, and in another they're not. i dont wanna leave hs.. i wanna stay a kid forever!!
so today was ok.. not bad, but it got interestinger as the day progressed. after school were tryouts and i dont think i made it ((sarcastic)) but it was fun going in and performing for oliver, kyla and megan w/the comfort of knowing there was a room full of drummers in the back. haha.. not like they were watching cuz they were too sucked into that retarded halo game. i seriously dont see the point in that game.. maybe its one of those things u just gotta experience. but i dont wanna experience it. u cant make me.
i also got to play with goop stuff that jessW made in her APchem class. much fun. looked like semen. scared matt and scott. muahaha ((sry.. twisted pleasure moment)).
after tryouts were over, we got out about 1 hr and 30 min early. so me, jessW, and kristen decided to stick around to spin. i tossed many 7s, and about 3-4 8s. amazing.. 5s feel like wussy tosses now cuz they're way easy for me. muskles. yah mon *jamaican voice*
so when i got home i got in trouble b/c i had to study for three tests tomorrow and i got home late from tryouts ((even tho we got out early)). but i guess me and jessW lost track of time while we were watching the drums during their workshop thingy. so mesmirizing ((sp?)). they're gonna be bomb next year. and then also the fact that we were chasing eachother with a condom thats been lying around outside of the bandroom for while made time fly by even faster than they shoulda. according to her, i got it in her mouth. she said it tasted salty. yummy. ((sry jess)).
ttfn.
Posted at 12:37 am by hunkydory0322
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
well we learned the flagwork today.. they've seriously got to be shitting us with this work cuz c'mon now, i had harder work in 8th grade. they're going too easy on the youngins'. i remember my freshman year, it was hell. jens work was way more challenging and gave me a taste of the cwguard b4 i was even put on it. thats what i love about jen.. and just her positive vibe, always put everyone in a good mood. i miss that part of guard. kyla is great tho.. dunno what we would do without her. shes deserved her position on our guard. shes bomb.
the dance work is quite interesting. still easy, and parts of it are boring, but all in all, very scandilous((squish the balls and squeeze the tits!!)) hehe.. good times. i hate how i might not even do guard next year, but i'm going through this whole process to keep my hopes up, and to keep my doors open in case i can continue with it. i will be a very sad and depressed person w/o it indeed.
but i must say the youngins' are really cute. i remember when i was in their place.. only they got it a lot easier than we did. but i think i scared a couple of them.. one girl got her foot stepped on by my bodacious self, and then i almost killed lil miss melissa hoffman with my flag.. the poor soul.
hmm.. so bored. thinking of a random 's' word at the moment, for jareds sake. i feel like an idiot.. cuz i cant find a good one. i mean seriously, how many 's' words do we say everyday? and when it finally comes time to think one up, my mind draws a blank. funny how that works. anyway, its late. so i'm leaving. ttfn.
Posted at 02:01 am by hunkydory0322
Monday, May 24, 2004
this weekend was horrible. i hate being grounded. i feel like the stress, pressure, and punishments never end, and never will. thats all i'm saying about that, but i can only go to school tomorrow being happy.. i've been doing a better job of hiding that kinda stuff. gotta keep it up till school gets out.
friday: woke up feeling shitty. my head hurt like a mother.. but i took two advil, sucked it up, and went to school. by the end of school, i could barely walk. i was really cold despite the hot weather and had goosepimples everywhere. my head hurt and my eyes burned, and i was really tingly all over. i felt like i was gonna faint. i talked to jerald online in the library after school.. he let me bitch to him, and i love him for that. when i got home, i found out i had a fever of 102. i broke down ((crying.. dont ask me why))and fell asleep at 4pm.
saturday: the long sleep did me much goodness.. i woke up around 9am. but i had waken up at 4am to go eat. the food tasted like crap.. and water tasted like leather. grodie. anyway, i went to go run errands with my mom.. it gave me something to do. i came home and fell asleep. then i woke up around 10pm.. and jessica called.. we talked for about 3 hours i would say. then i fell asleep after we hung up.
today: went to church.. blah blah blah. my stomach started hurting. really bad. came home around 12.30 and fell alseep. woke up around 8.30ish. my mother made things worse by reminding me of how much my happiness makes everyone else around me suffer. i'm learning to take her shit.. i dont care how much of a mess up i am anymore. i just dont want my main source of happiness to be taken away from me.. i dont know what i would do. u take guard away from me.. and its on. i'll make sure ur life is as much of a hell as mine is gonna be since there is now a chance that i might not do guard next year. just saying those words brought a tear to my eye damnit.
so anyway, b/c my weekend was booty, i might not be the happiest person tomorrow. sry if i blow up on u. i love u all.
ttfn.
Posted at 12:32 am by hunkydory0322
Thursday, May 20, 2004
oh my good golly goshness..
i just finished reading this book "The Guardian" by Nicolas Sparks last nite. lets just put it this way.. i was literally bawling at the end. i went to my parents room and they thought my dog died or something. haha.. but anyway yeah you all have to read it. hehe.
so yeah after i had finished reading it, i called syd to tell her about the book ((and it cuz i didnt wanna be all by my lonesome while i was washing the dishes.. the book kinda scared me)) and then i hear my dad coming so i put the phone on the floor.. w/syd still on the line, hoping my dad wouldnt find it b/c i'm not supposed to be on the phone. so uh yeah.. he finds it. lol. i was so scared he was gonna blow.. but he didnt. just kinda gave me a dissapointing look and said "what else are u doing behind our backs?" and i said "nothing.. sometimes i call syd but thats it" and then he just walked away. so this morning he didnt say anything about it, and neither did my mom.. thank god.
ttfn.
Posted at 07:28 am by hunkydory0322
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
wow it has been forever since i've updated. anyway, good moods lately. recently been feeling frusteration towards the parentals cuz they get anal over grades ((two goddamn Cs.. seriously they need to get over it)). but yeah, if they're not Bs, my summer and band/guard are on the line. not good.. too much pressure.
on a good note, saturday at music under the stars i got the "outstanding sophmore colorguard" award. hoorah for moi. i've never won an award like that b4.. unless u count student of the month in 7th grade for p.e.. haha. laaaame. then last nite had the gay articulation concert. we didnt even play a whole song.. we played the last page ((outta 4)) of russian christmas music. ((dont let the christmas part throw u off.. sounds nothing like christmas)). i was pissed b4 the concert.. so i bitched to syd. thank god for her. i dunno what i would do w/o her. so yeah, concert was boring. elementary kids suck.. kastner was ok.. but they're just youngins. cant judge em. the best part of the concert was seeing kayla, jessW, kristen, and jessie ((and whoever else was there)) doing the wave for me. hehe.. i love u guys, u keep me laughing.
i'm clueless on my lovelife at the moment.. i'm in a difficult position and dont know what to think anymore. i'm hoping that me, syd, and jessW can go man pimpin' this summer, if none of this shiznit works out.
leave me some love.
ttfn.
Posted at 12:21 am by hunkydory0322
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